Mama Radar

My mama radar is off the charts.  We're on day 6 of school.  Gavin has wet the bed every single school night, but not on the weekends.  We took him to the doctor to be sure there was no physical reason for this to be happening.  He had a minor ear infection, but no UTI.  His principal and his teacher both talk about how "great" this school year is going.  I mean, it's nice that you think so, but he's really suffering.  He just holds it in until he sees me.  Every fiber of my being wants to fix this.  I want to pull him and homeschool him.  I want to put him in second grade.  I want to make that damn teacher do what she says she will - differentiate.  But it's only Day 6.  I'm not sure she has had time.  Gavin told me she pulled him to the side and had him read to her, just him.  It was The Birthday Queen, a picture book.  I cannot find a grade level equivalent for it.  So maybe she was seeing if he could read it before moving to something harder.  I just can't tell.  I want to fix it.  I know that I cannot homeschool at this point and time.  I have too many medical issues that I have to address while he's in school.  I'm not ruling it out for the future, though it kind of makes me mad because we moved here specifically for the schools.

Poppy parenting is hard.  Poppy parenting is even harder when you're a poppy yourself.  Gavin and I have a pretty good rhythm most days, and I'm able to handle a lot.  But when I'm stressing, it's hard to hold it together for him.  This morning was the first day of school (first grade).  I've done everything I can possibly do to prepare for today.  Since learning Gavin is a poppy, just like his dad and I are, I've been fighting this battle for his heart.  My boy loves learning.  He loves it with every fiber of his being.  He's curious, intense, excited, and will never fit into a traditional classroom.  DH and I were both identified (gifted) in second grade, at 8 years old.  It was already too late for us.  This is the "traditional" time to identify, but we had already given up on the school system ever challenging us.  

Late identification paired with school systems that were not prepared to support us has caused way more problems than I ever realized.  Now, reading all the research, I see that we were set up to fail.  By never challenging us or making us work for it, we both bombed out when we reached Honors College and had to actually work.  We literally did not know how.  It is actually a very common thing, though we did not know it.  Depression, loss of self... I'm actually amazed we were both able to graduate and function in the world.  I'm so glad we found each other.

Anyway, tangent.  The above reasons are why I will not let this happen to my child.  I started emailing his principal (who I have a prior relationship with) over a month ago, way before school started, with my concerns and to find out how to get him tested/ qualified for gifted, so he can have a Gifted Education Plan.  He is entering first grade reading on a third-grade level and doing math at 2nd-grade, 7th month.  I really want to accelerate him to second grade.  But I started with asking for single-subject accelerations, in math and reading.  After some back and forth, I went in to see his principal and was surprised that his teacher was in the meeting.

I was not prepared to meet with her and basically stumbled over what I had to say.  I left that meeting feeling like she patted me on the head and sent me on my way.  She has been teaching first grade for 18 years and "kids do well in my class".  She assured me that she will differentiate and "put him in the high reading group".  Really?  So what?  DH and I were both in the "high reading group" and it was cake.  He's reading third-grade books.  "High readers" in first grade are still reading first-grade books.  And math?  He is doing multiple digit addition and subtraction in his head, solving puzzles that are way beyond first grade.  She sent home a problem with a picture of one beach ball plus another beach ball and told him he was "so smart" for being able to solve it.  I just can't...

Everybody I've talked to looooves this teacher and tells me I need to calm down and give her time.  But how much time?  It feels wrong, so wrong, in my mama gut.  Everything about dropping him off set me off.  I had to leave from there and immediately see one doctor who upped my medication yet again.  Then I decided to go into another doctor's office because I hadn't tortured myself enough today to be sure they set up my appointment.  They had lost my paperwork.  After getting all that settled, I went to the bookstore planning to pick up the newest book from my favorite author.  They didn't have it.  I just about fell apart.